Alone

I am alone, but not lonely.  Funny that these words use the same root and have the same base meaning, but I can tell them apart easily.  Alone is a state of being.  Loneliness is a state of mind.  I felt the loneliest a couple years ago during a two-almost three year relationship.  Fascinating, isn't it?  The person who I shared my life with made me feel like I was kept in the deepest darkest corner of the room.   Intentionally or not, I refuse to go back to that place.  Hah.  I'm afraid of the dark. :(

Loneliness is the isolation that comes with nursing a feeling unreturned- an expectation unmet. There's a void that's yearning to be filled when you're lonely.  On the other hand, there's a strange bliss that's associated with being alone when you've embraced it.  In some ways, being alone is empowering.  It's being honestly and unapologetically content with your own company.  

I enjoy being alone, but that doesn't mean I am always alone.  I still take pleasure in the company of my friends and family.  I am still entertained by meeting new people and sharing moments with others.  But when the day ends, I am still utterly content with being alone.

There's a quote that I stumbled upon earlier this year that I can relate to.

"My alone feels so good that I will only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude" Warsan Shire